slow the fuck down there aristotle youre like 3 years old wearing a fucking hard hat
(via marilynto)
If only all men were like this.
If men were all like this the world population rate would be so slow
There are guys like this you’re just too busy putting them in the fucking friend zone to see that
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
reblog for the comment
Oh hell no you better listen the fuck up dickwads
I was about to go to sleep and then this bullshit showed up on my dash and you have all earned yourselves fedoras so sit down, shut up, and educate your stupid asses.
“Putting them in the friendzone”? I’m sorry did you mean “I was nice to a girl and I cared about her and I’m bitter because she didn’t want me back?” Or was it “I believe that if I love another person they’re a bitch for just wanting to be friends.” Perhaps it was “I treated her (or pretended to, rather) like a person instead of a sexual object and now she’s not being a sexual object for me like I deserve.” No, wait, it’s “friendship with a girl makes me angry because I’m a self-entitled shithead who feels like if I want to be with a girl she has to accept that regardless of her feelings or else she’s a total bitch.”
The friendzone is the concept that a girl wanting to be your friend is somehow this inherently awful thing. Like, wow, did it occur to you that she thought you were, I dunno, FRIENDS? Did it occur to you that maybe she doesn’t feel romantically towards you but she still wants you to be part of her life because she thinks you’re a great person? I mean, if this is your reaction you’re wrong, because if you think friendzoning is a thing then clearly you’re a fucktrumpet but that’s beside the point.
Women are not machines you put niceness coins into until sex comes out. There are no punchcards to fill out to get to sex that you are apparently entitled to.
There is no friendzone, there are only people who don’t know how to behave like they’re not five-year-olds who don’t know how to take “no” for an answer.
Now I’m going to sleep. Disrespectful misogynistic asswagons.
Wow. Fucktrumpet, Asswagons? You are amazing at swearing. Like seriously amazing.
FUCKTRUMPET.
Women are not machines you put niceness coins into until sex comes out.
HOLY FUCK I LOVE YOU
everyone better read that long amazing comment!!!!!!!
(via marilynto)
It’s like the olympic closing ceremony…
funny story about these, i had a red one on my birthday and everyone was like “wow this is the coolest fucking thing ever” and it plays music and all that, but when it came to actually eating the cake and taking the candle out, there was no off switch, so we had to smash it to pieces in the back garden to shut it up. turns out if you smash it up the music box still works. when i was in bed at 3am i could hear something so i opened the window, and it sounded like a tune you would hear in a horror movie before someone gets their body ripped to shreds and eaten. sleep well munchkins. you dont want this fucking thing.
^^^^^^^^MY MOTHER BOUGHT THIS FOR ME WHEN I TURNED 14 IT DIDNT STOP PLAYING WE DROWNED IT FOR 5 HOURS AND IT STARTED PLAYING THE SECOND YOU TOOK IT OUT OF THE WATER MY BROTHER SMASHED IT AGAINST THE WALL 5 TIMES IT DIDNT STOP MY MOTHER THREW IT OUT 3 BLOCKS AWAY
i love how every single time i see this there’s a new horror story about this candle
‘Why would you want tattoos and crap they’re gonna look gross when you’re older’
damn punk since 1950
I really don’t think you understand the amount of would right now.
Always reblogging this old ass, dapper motherfuck.
I’m sorry but this is too sexy
(via linatransformers)
I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS GIF SET MY WHOLE LIFE
Sassy Gay Cat in the Hat.
(via being-unique-sometimes)
An 87 Year Old College Student Named Rose
The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know.
I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned round to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me
with a smile that lit up her entire being.
She said, “Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?”
I laughed and enthusiastically responded, “Of course you may!” and she gave me a giant squeeze.
“Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?” I asked.
She jokingly replied, “I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids…”
“No seriously,” I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.
“I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!” she told me.
After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.We became instant friends. Every day for the
next three months, we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this “time machine”
as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.
Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and
she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.
At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ll never forget what she taught us. She was
introduced and stepped up to the podium.
As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, “I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell
you what I know.”
As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, “We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop
playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day.
You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.
We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it!There is a huge difference between growing
older and growing up.
If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old.
If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.
Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change.
Have no regrets.
The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those
with regrets.”
She concluded her speech by courageously singing “The Rose.”
She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.
At the year’s end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died
peacefully in her sleep.
Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s
never too late to be all you can possibly be .When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice to your friends and family, they’ll really enjoy it!
These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.
REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS
OPTIONAL.
We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give.
(via samanthaapellee)
(Source: meelissaas, via sincerelydaahbeckster)
